The Mellowfields Visitors Guide

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The Mellowfields Visitors Guide by Bry Billson

"Well, butter my cheeks and toast my hairpiece!" were the first words uttered to me when I first stepped into Cunning Plots.

The house there at the time was owned by a Mr Boggins, and he was not more than 5 feet tall, or 10 half-feet, if you use the old measurements, or 20 toes if you go even further back to when times and people were simpler.

"Good day sir!" I called out cheerily.

It was obvious he had recognised me. My portrait is sketched onto the back cover of all my travel guides.

"Have you come to tour our humble Haven?" he asked, cheeks as red as the cabbages he grew.

"Why yes sir, I have" I replied.

It was at this point I realised I had wasted a lot of words on this small but worthless anecdote.

So, to sum up... Mellowfields. Short people, gorgeous gardens, massive turnips and peacocks.

9/10 would engage in idle chitchat again.