Ignatius Kettle

Sprite
Age	78
Haven	Vale
Location	Candlewych West
House	The Boiler House
Family	Spouse Holly Kettle Child Copper Kettle
Traits	NPC_TRAITS

Sprites

Baby	Kid	Adult	Elder

Story

Task
Upset the Teapotts
Upset the Teapotts to lower their friendship level. Try various methods such as pouring poo, slingshot and hated gifts.
Dialogue
Oh, you are a good onion. Onions are funny, aren't they? The name makes you laugh, and the vegetable makes you cry. But I wouldn't know; onions stopped growing in Quill when I was but knee-high to a goose. My mother told me all about them. Sour, bitter, many-layered. But enough about my mother. Dad used to call her the iron lady. She was a thatcher by trade. Was very good at roofing and liked to look down on us all.
I like you in a way! You remind me of me when I was younger but different looking. You have strong facial features and very deep eyes. Your teeth are like stars - they come out at night. Haha! Old jokes are the best. I once tried my hand as a wandering entertainer. I played the pubs and clubs throughout Quill. But, of course, at every pub, I got clubbed. Sometimes my jokes were that bad. It's what drew Holly to me, I am sure. I could make her laugh, especially when I took out my glass eye and played marbles with it. Edna used to scream and hit me with the broom whenever I did it as a party trick.
You know how I told you about how I like a laugh and a joke? What would really tickle me pink is to see Edna and that young Edward getting a good old fashioned pranking. If you can get one of them to dislike you, then I'd be happy as Larry. That was the name of my old comedy partner - Larry Load 'O' Laughs. He died laughing. Anyhow! To business. The business of pranking!
You would make a great stand-up comic because you are a real stand-up person, and you make me laugh to look at you. You did a good thing this day. You are what they used to call a Gillit. It was a type of blade and the best a man could get.